


The pursuit of freedom

by cxbbypxnda



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Wholesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:14:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29662974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cxbbypxnda/pseuds/cxbbypxnda
Summary: “How do we know that there aren’t any humans outside of the walls?”Erwin smith.That’s a name I was pretty familiar with, as he was the talk of our school a few years ago. The most painful memory I have of Erwin to this present day is seeing him stand by this fathers grave. No tears, just the look of pain in his eyes. As a child with both parents still alive I was always hesitant to go up to him and comfort him. I mean it’s not like I could exactly relate to him so I just left him be.I regret that. So much.
Relationships: Erwin Smith & Reader, Erwin Smith/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if some of this isn’t 100% accurate to the plot line, this is my first fan fiction so I’m kinda nervous about posting it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this first chapter.

“How do we know that there aren’t any humans outside of the walls?”

Erwin smith. 

That’s a name I was pretty familiar with, as he was the talk of our school a few years ago. The most painful memory I have of Erwin to this present day is seeing him stand by this fathers grave. No tears, just the look of pain in his eyes. As a child with both parents still alive I was always hesitant to go up to him and comfort him. I mean it’s not like I could exactly relate to him so I just left him be. 

I regret that. So much. 

Throughout the rest of school he had his head down and eyes focused. On what? Nobody really knew. However, the look in his eyes was enough to make us cower in fear. Erwin smith had changed, that boyish grin had disappeared and all that was left was something on the lines of determination. 

When school ended I went on to become a teacher, to hopefully educate young minds and bring hope and curiosity. Erwin Smith, however, joined the scouts. I wish I told him not to. I didn’t want to see him suffer the same fate as everyone else who went outside the walls. 

What surprised me though was the fact that he persevered and almost all his comrades survived. Had been almost 5 years since I’d seen him? Or was it 6? His face was still as stoic as ever, just a bit more defined. I remember when he came back with a short looking guy, I wonder who he was now that I think about it. Clearly someone special if Erwin decided to bring him in. 

I lived in wall Maria, well that was until the year 845. I was lucky enough to flee to wall rose, as I was a teacher it was vital that I took care of the kids, others didn’t have the same privilege. Seeing all those children and elderly struggle and cry was heartbreaking, all those kids left in my care after being separated from their parents was so hard to look at. After arriving in wall rose I took it upon myself to look after the young children that could not provide for themselves, soon I ended up finding work so I could start teaching children again.

This leads us to now. It’s currently year 847 and I’ve been hired to teach the 104 cadet corps. Even though my main role is to teach children, after the attack on wall Maria I’ve spent a hand full of my time learning about the anatomy of Titans and how they function off numerous different teachers, books, or off anyone who even knows the slightest bit about them. My role is, whilst they’re training, to teach them the anatomy of titans and how to kill them. Also their weak points or points that are vulnerable. When my previous colleagues found out my obsession with these creatures they thought I was weird, proving my point that no one wants to get off their ass and actually do something. Knowledge is power in this age, the more we know the better. It all worked out as soon commander Keith reached out saying he was looking for a new teacher for the 104th cadet Corps. 

I just want to meet someone who has the same fascination of these creatures as I do. To talk day and night about them would be a dream. 

Somehow, I have a funny feeling that teaching this batch of cadets is going to be one hell of a ride. 

As the sun rises so does the nerves, I begin my routine of brushing my teeth, tying up my hair and exercise. I’m not exactly fat but nor am I skinny, I have what is considered an average body, I don’t think much of it as who doesn’t have a bit of fat on them nowadays. After exercise, here comes my favourite part, it’s breakfast. A loaf of bread with cheese should do the trick, there isn’t much food available as crops are still growing so I make the best I can with what I have. After breakfast I make my way to the training grounds, as I make my way there I wonder what the cadets are like. They’re probably strong, I heard there are a few from wall Maria so they should... be... fine... what is this?

“HORSE FACE!”

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?” 

So it begins. This is definitely not what I was expecting. Should I break this up? This is kind of entertaining. As the two cadets scream at each other on the training grounds they don’t notice Keith coming their way, this is going to be interesting. 

He grabs both of them by their ear and pulls. Hard. Both of them whine and complain as Keith drags them off the training grounds. I’m not sure he noticed me yet, I mean I don’t exactly stick out. I decided to wear a brown shirt with black trousers and a belt as almost all my clothes are oversized, teachers don’t earn much. As I sit there contemplating where to go I don’t even notice a young blonde boy walking up to me. 

“Hey, are you lost? Is there anything I can help you with?” 

“Oh, thank you so much. Would you happen to know where Keith stays? I have some business with him.” 

“Of course, just follow me.”

“Thank you... um what’s your name?”

“My name is Armin, what’s yours?” 

“My name is [Y/N].”

“Nice to meet you, it’s nice to see a fresh face around here. Ah here we are, you’ll find commander Keith in here. See you around” 

“See you!” 

As I wave good bye to Armin I get a heavy feeling in in the pit of my stomach. He looks like him. I wonder how he’s doing. It’s almost been 3 years since I’ve seen his face, I’m surprised that I even remember him. Erwin Smith. 

Oh crap I was day dreaming. 

As I enter Keith’s office to find him lecturing the 2 teens, their faces are priceless. I can’t help but laugh, Keith has always been strict but seeing him like this was just hilarious. The petrified looks on their faces is just icing on top of the cake. 

Keith notices me and shoves the 2 cadets out of his office, one looks petrified whilst the other who is also petrified has a look of blood lust in his eyes. It causes a shiver to go down my spine. He’s so young, he must be a refugee from wall Maria. 

“You’re finally here.”

“ It’s been a while Keith, how’re you holding up?” 

“These cadets are going to drain the life out of me. Other than that it’s been okay. Now, with your new position I’m to let you know that you being on Monday but I do want to introduce to the them earlier so you can get an idea of what all of them are like.” 

“I’d love that, the earlier the better” 

“How about now?”

“Now? Aren’t they training?”

“Who says you can’t join in?” 

Shit. 

Keith leads me down to the training grounds, adrenaline courses through my veins. I may have some combat skills but to go up against cadets in training who’ve probably endured much harsher circumstances then me is just a disaster waiting to happen. I trained myself to make sure that I’ll be able to avoid dangerous situations, there are a lot of drunks around where I live so to learn how to throw a punch is vital. 

“CADETS!”

“YES SIR!”

They all say this in sync, I’m impressed. Seems like they’ve bonded... to some extent. 

“This is [Y/N]. She will be your new teacher, she is here today to meet all of you. Embarrass me and you’ll be running laps till sunset. Sound familiar?”

He glares at a young girl with a pony tail. To run till sunset is an achievement, I don’t know how she did it. All the cadets look mortified, Keith must be harsher than I thought. 

“[Y/N] properly introduce yourself if you don’t mind.”

“Oh, yes of course. Hello my name is [Y/N], I’m 28 years old. I like any food, I’m not really picky. I studied the anatomy of Titans and their vulnerabilities, I hope to successfully pass on my knowledge to you. In my spare time I [your hobby] and my favourite colour is [your favourite colour]. I hope we can all get along well.” 

“[Y/N] you’re not teaching young children here, hold back on the favourite colours and hobbies.” Keith whispers this to me as soon as I’ve finished speaking causing me to internally curse myself. 

I hear sniggering from the back, the girl with the pony tail and a boy who has a buzz cut clearly found my introduction amusing. Keith glares at them causing them to immediately stop laughing. I hope I didn’t make myself look too stupid. 

“Anyways, I just wanted to meet everyone. I’ll start teaching you on Monday, I hope to see everyone there.” 

“Oh no you missed the best part out [Y/N]. Everyone listen up, [Y/N] is going to be challenging two of you today. Consider it part of your training.”

Keith why do you feel the need to open your mouth sometimes. I nervous feeling soon arises back within me, thank heavens for the adrenaline. 

“She will only be fighting 2 of you, she’s not trained in combat so it’s putting her up against all of you would t be fair.” 

Only 2? Alright, this shouldn’t be so bad then. It’s better than challenging all of them. 

“EREN AND ANNIE COME FORWARD!”

“YES SIR” 

So I got the crazy guy and the scary girl. This should be a piece of cake. 

Or so I hope.


	2. Titans are immobile without sunlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Titans are immobile without sunlight.” I say this out loud, I can’t believe what I’m reading. Who could’ve wrote this? 
> 
> “You must be the new teacher, I’m so happy to finally meet you!”

Long story short I’m face down on the ground with my arm twisted painfully behind my back. I tap the ground repeatedly as a sign of surrender. Keith, who is probably enjoying this, doesn’t stop the match. 

“KEITH I GIVE UP! PLEASE GET HER OFF ME!”

With a heavy sigh he tells Annie to release me. I roll over so I’m lying back flat on the ground trying to catch my breath, shit it’s only been the first match too. I can’t give up now, I still have one match left. I lift myself up and position myself into a fighting stance. Next up is Eren, so that’s his name. He doesn’t look scary physically but his eyes speak differently. 

He’s the first one to attempt to land an attack which I easily dodge, he needs a bit of work. Using my legs I slide mine so they come in contact with the back of his feet causing him to fall over, using this as an opening I strangle his upper body with my legs and pin his hands above his head with the tightest grip I can manage. Compared to Annie this isn’t so bad. I look sideways at Keith signalling that this match is over, he sees this and ends it. 

“You’re not bad at all, with a bit more practice you could be a very strong soldier.”

I reach my hand out to Eren, who is now catching his breath, he takes it an smiles at me. I’ll take this as a good sign. The cadets look impressed, so that’s something. Hopefully it’ll be easier to earn their respect as their teacher now. The cadets introduce themselves to me one by one. I learn that the girl with the pony tail is Sasha and the boy with a buzz cut is Connie. There is a girl with black hair and a red scarf called Mikasa, a girl who resembles Armin called Krista, her friend called Ymir. A built boy called Reiner and his tall friend called Bertholdt. Numerous other cadets introduce themselves to me, I greet them all with a smile. 

After greetings I’m invited to eat dinner with everyone, they seem to want to get to know me better.

“They seem to have taken a liking to you.” Keith says as we walk back, he seems relieved.

“It should be fun teaching this bunch for the next few years” 

I’m definitely looking forward to this. 

During dinner I notice a few things about the cadets. Sasha is Connie’s other half, literally. Jean and Eren are quite hostile but still get along in their own way, Armin is very smart and curious about the world. Mikasa has a crush on Eren, ah young love. Reiner and Bertholdt are almost like brothers, Annie likes to keep to herself and Sasha LOVES food. Krista and Ymir bicker back and forth but laugh it off, almost like a married couple. 

These next few years are going to be interesting to say the least but I’m looking forward to all of it. Lectures only take place once or twice a week for 2 hours each lecture, in the span of 3 years I should be able to teach them all I’m about to with the knowledge I have. These cadets are promising, humanity might be one step closer to uncovering what’s outside the walls. 

A few months pass, its now year 848, and I’ve already taught them the anatomy of a Titan, well all that I know of it anyway. Since the cadets started in autumn, they’ve gotten used to the routine and have improved drastically. Now we’re onto the vulnerabilities. Keith helps by bringing books and documents that I read through daily, if I find anything new or something that we haven’t covered I go back to that lesson and add any details I’ve missed. I don’t want these cadets missing anything, any information is vital for their success. Through these last few months I’ve found out that Armin is academically brilliant and all the others mostly learn and are motivated because of him. Eren and Mikasa learn a lot from him, it helps that those 3 are always around each other. All 3 are refugees from wall Maria and when I said I was too they where shocked to say the least. It’s not everyday that they can find an adult to relate to. Reiner and Bertholdt are also refugees claiming that they want to return home soon. Hopefully we all can soon. 

I’ve gotten closer to the cadets too, they always invite me to dinner and most of the time I accept. During dinner we always talk about the strangest of topics, one time though it lead to everyone talking about what regiment they want to join. When I found out that Eren wanted to join the scouts my stupid fear wanted to talk him out of it but I held back. It’s not my place to control their life, these cadets have earned the right to choose their own path no matter how dangerous it may be. I respect the scouts, they’re the only ones with the guts and curiosity to venture out of the walls, they put their life on the line for their cause. 

Unfortunately today I cannot join them as Kieth has asked me to come and deliver a quick briefing on how the cadets are doing. I have some time left so I go for a quick stroll on the training grounds. 

Whilst walking my mind drifts off to him. Erwin Smith, that man is always on my mind. It’s not like I haven’t been with anyone else, it’s safe to say that I’m not a virgin but all of them haven’t worked out. I wouldn’t say that Erwin is the cause of this as most of the men weren’t exactly amazing but the fact that I can’t stop thinking about him isn’t helping. It’s almost been 3 years since I’ve seen him, when he came back from missions outside of the walls I managed to get a good look at him but since I heard I was starting this new job I spent a long time gaining more knowledge and it overall consumed my life for a year. Finding documents or books about Titans was a tough job. When I try to remember what he looks like all I can remember that his face had aged a bit more and that he looked more mature. He deserved the title of commander, lord knows what he’s been through over the past few years. 

Dammit I went on this stroll to get away from all these thoughts. 

As I walk back to the classroom I catch sight of 3 individuals in Keith’s office, one quite small and the other 2 quite tall and built. They’re probably from different regiments looking for new promising soldiers. When I get back into the room I start collecting work for the briefing that the cadets have completed until I notice something weird. There is an extra piece of writing on one of the cadets work, it’s definitely not their handwriting. 

“Titans are immobile without sunlight.” I say this out loud, I can’t believe what I’m reading. Who could’ve wrote this? 

“You must be the new teacher, I’m so happy to finally meet you!”

I turn around at lightening speed to try and face the new voice behind me. Crap I might’ve given myself whiplash. When I come face to face with this new person I notice that she looks really excited for some reason. 

“Um Hi, who are you?”

“Oh pardon me, my name is Hange. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I do this with all the teachers that come here, I like to see what you teach the cadets. What’s your name?”

The tone of her voice is enough to bring a smile to my face, it’s not everyday I find a person like her. To be to happy and excited this day and age is a chore but she pulls it off so effortlessly. 

“I’m [Y/N]. You must know a lot about Titans. I see you’re also a scout.” 

“Ah yes, I’m fascinated with these creatures. So many questions left unanswered, finding out new things is thrilling. I’ve conducted numerous experiments on Titans that I’ve captured, hence the new piece of information on the sheet you’re holding. They become immobile but the time it takes is varied with different Titans, it’s odd but a valuable piece of information. It should make expeditions easier. I like how you’re teaching them, they seem to be engaged and enjoying the lectures from what I’ve seen on the board and the sheets. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one fascinated with these creatures.” 

As she says the last sentence she points at the stack of books and documents on my desk, this is kinda embarrassing. 

Wait this isn’t embarrassing, this is perfect! 

“Have you always wondered why their weak point is in the nape of their neck and not anywhere else? It’s seems rather odd that there is only one spot in their entire body that can stop regeneration.”

Hange’s face lights up at this questions, I have a feeling that we’re going to get along great.

“That’s the same question I keep thinking about as well, you should come down one day and see their experiments I’ve conducted and you get to see a Titan up close too” 

“Oh wow yes that would be amazing!” 

We continue talking, I don’t even know how much time has passed. It’s been a while since I’ve had a conversation this exciting before. Oh crap the briefing I completely forgot, Keith is going to have my head for this. 

“[Y/N]! HANGE!” 

Both of us quickly turn around, startled by the intensity of Keith’s voice. Expecting to see Keith’s angry glare I instead turn around to see a short angry man.

“Um excuse me, who are you?” 

“I’m Captain Levi, I’m here to pick up this idiot.” He points directly behind me to hange, the startled expression on Hange’s face melts away into excitement. 

“Levi you must talk to this girl! She’s amazing! I finally have someone to talk to about Titans who’s just as fascinated about them as I am!” 

This causes me to earn a glare from Levi, did I do something wrong? 

“You got her all excited, she isn’t going to shut up for the rest of the evening now.” 

“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make life harder for you.” I apologise trying not to further anger Captain Levi. 

“Are you the new teacher?”

“Yes, my name is [Y/N]. I started a few months ago, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

“Mmm... likewise. Alright Hange that’s enough talking for today, you know better than to run off. You had me, Keith, Moblit and Erwin looking for you.” 

Erwin. ERWIN? 

Like it was meant to be the door opens to reveal an irritated looking Keith, a relieved brunette male which I’ll assume is Moblit and a curious looking Erwin. Erwin Smith. This man doesn’t age, he looks the same as he did the last time I saw him. What I fail to realise is that he’s staring right back at me.

“Hi, you must be the new teacher. You look familiar, I think I’ve seen you once when coming back from an expedition.” 

Oh, that makes sense. He wouldn’t remember me from school, we both look different from then. Still, I can’t help but be a little disappointed. 

“Yes, my name is [Y/N]. It’s a pleasure to meet you Commander Erwin I-“

“ERWIN WE HAVE TO INVITE [Y/N] TO THE SCOUT REGIMENT GROUNDS. SHE HAS TO SEE MY EXPERIMENTS, CAN YOU BELIEVE SHE’S NEVER SEEN A TITAN UP CLOSE?!”

“Hange bare in mind that she’s never been outside the walls.” Levi says in his monotone voice, clearly on the lines of shocked and irritated from her outburst.

“I wouldn’t mind if she came, she may prove useful to your experiments. It’ll help to have an extra hand around, it’ll give Moblit a break.” Erwin replies, earning a massive smile from Hange. 

“Thank you so much, I’d love that.”

“YES! WOOHOO! You’re free tomorrow right? I’ll come to the training grounds and get you first thing.”

Hange looks like she’s just received a handful of gold, her expression makes me giggle a little. 

“Yes I’m free, I’ll be waiting for you then.” 

Taking this as a sign that the conversation is over Levi and Erwin take their leave, Hange and Moblit soon follow after. All of us say our goodbyes and they leave the training grounds. Finally remembering how to breath I let out a loud sigh, I felt like I was suffocating. Erwin has such a massive presence, you can’t ignore him. 

“I don’t know why you’re so relieved [Y/N], you still have to give me your weekly briefing on the cadets progress.” 

I should be whining and complaining as Keith says this but the only thing that constantly repeats in my head is that he remembered my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you this was going to be a slow burn ;)   
> I hope you liked this chapter, feel free to leave a comment or voice any constructive criticism you have.   
> I’m trying to go by the aot timeline, so for everyone who’s like omg it’s a new year already. I decided to do the lessons around autumn time after the cadets went through their odm gear training and process of elimination during the summer (Around the end of July to the end of September). A few months for me is October to mid February. Sorry if anyone was shocked or confused.  
> I hope this clears up a few things :)   
> Thanks for reading.


	3. Would you like to dance?

“[Y/N]! ARE YOU IN HERE?”

It’s impossible to not recognised that voice.

“Yeah, come on in Hange.”

As expected she’s right on time, I decided to come a few minutes earlier to the classroom just incase. It’s quite evident that I didn’t sleep much last night, I mean who could if they found out that they get to stay at the survey corps’ grounds for the day. 

“Okay so today you’ll be assisting me with experiments and further exploring the vulnerabilities of Titans. You’ll get to join and meet all of the members during the day and you get to eat dinner with us too. I’m glad Erwin said yes, he doesn’t always allow this kind of stuff to happen. It’s makes me wonder, why he said yes in the first place.”

As Hange says this my whole body freezes, what does she mean by that? Surely Erwin he said yes more times to Hange than no, right? He wouldn’t give any special treatment to someone like me, who he doesn’t even remember. 

What if he does remembers me? 

My thoughts end up completely consuming me. No, I’m looking way too deep into this. He just said yes because Hange was so excited, that’s all. 

“It’s probably because you were so excited, you were practically screaming in his ear.” I can’t help but laugh as I say this, Levi looked liked he wanted to retire. 

Hange’s cheeks turn red as I say this, she must be quite embarrassed. She shouldn’t be, it’s nice to see someone so happy and joyous. Everyone now looks so glum, ever since the attack on wall Maria everyone’s constantly been on edge. Almost like they’re waiting for the next attack. I want to try and keep the smiles on the cadets faces for as long as possible, they bring me hope that one day we will find life beyond the walls. 

Me and Hange exit the training grounds, and make our way to the survey corps. When we arrive we’re greeted by a familiar face. 

“You’re finally back! Please stop wondering off! You told me that we would go and collect [Y/N] together, you can’t just leave first thing in the morning like that and not tell anyone!” The brunette who I know as Moblit looks exhausted as he says this, he must’ve been really worried. 

“Ah Moblit you worry too much, look I’m completely fine and so is [Y/N]. Stressing so much isn’t healthy.” I can’t help but stifle my laughter, this must be a daily thing for them. 

They keep bickering as we walk into what looks like an old castle, this must be where most of them stay. It looks ridiculously tidy. Hange shows me around and introduces me to a few people along the way, they all greet me with friendly smiles. 

As we exit the back of the castle we come face to face with giant green barricades with only one way in and out, Hange turns around to face me looking quite worried.

“Okay now I know you’ve never seen a Titan before so brace yourself, it’s chained up so it can’t attack you. Just don’t go too close to it otherwise it might bite your head off. Okay let’s go.” 

I don’t know if that was an attempt to reassure me or scare me off. 

I enter through the barricades and brace myself for something gruesome and disgusting but it actually isn’t so bad. The titan right in front of me is fairly small, well for how big I expected an average Titan to be anyway, it also shows no resistance to being chained up. It still looks like it’s on edge, this catch must be fairly recent. 

Hange taps me on the shoulder and hands me a spear. Why on earth would she give me this? She points in the direction of the Titan, oh so she wants to me to stab this thing? 

“Think of this as a welcome ceremony, if that’s even possible.” 

Okay then, here goes nothing. 

As I approach the Titan Moblit also joins me. 

“Just incase something happens.” He smiles reassuringly at me as he says this which helps ease my nerves a little bit. 

I also notice other soldiers coming around to watch, I mean it’s not like they see anyone but Hange approach these creatures so this must be abnormal for them. Plus I stick out like a sore thumb with my white shirt and black trousers. 

As I approach the titan it starts showing signs of irritation and resistance, it must know what’s happening. So it learns quickly, I wonder how intelligent these creatures are. Maybe it varies across different titans. 

When I finally get close enough I set my target on it’s right arm, let’s see how this goes. I pierce through the Titans flesh with all the force I can muster, it’s let’s out a cry of agony. Blood splatters everywhere but as soon as I attempt to wipe it off it’s gone, it’s like it evaporated. As I stare in awe I don’t notice the titans hand directly above me.

“[Y/N]! MOBLIT! MOVE AWAY NOW!”

I hear Hange’s voice behind me but I can’t look away, I’m frozen in place. 

Fuck, move! MOVE [Y/N] YOU IDIOT! 

Before it’s too late a hand reaches out for mine and pulls me out of reach from the Titan, the force of the pull makes me and Moblit land on our butts. As I look up I see a furious looking Levi and a worried Hange. While Hange lends a hand to Moblit Levi just stares at me. 

Why is he looking at me like that? 

“How did it feel to stab a titan you fool?”

Hmmm... how did it feel? 

“Well apart from the near death experience I’d say it felt sort of different? I can’t explain it, it’s was hard to dig into the layers of skin and muscle but it’s fascinating how it regenerated quite quickly.” 

“You sound so much like Hange it’s annoying, next time you come face to face with death by the hands of a Titan don’t expect me to save you again.” 

“Now now Levi, at least lend her a hand first before you interrogate her.”

That voice, crap this is embarrassing. 

A large hand reaches out to me, it looks rough but inviting. I take it and I’m immediately lifted up to come face to chest with Erwin Smith. 

Well this this kind of an intimate position. 

Half flustered I pull myself away from him and give him my thanks. However that does nothing to erase the worried expression on his face. 

“Are you alright? You took quite a big fall there.”

“Yeah I’m okay, sorry for worrying everyone.”

“I admire your bravery, it’s not everyday someone who’s never seen a Titan before deicides to stab one.” 

“O-oh haha I guess I was just curious. They’re fascinating, I feel like I’ve already learnt a lot just from that. The time is take for regeneration is much shorter than expected, their intellectual capabilities could be varied. Judging by the way that Titan reacted to me walking up to it with a spear it must associated the spear with danger and al-.” 

Crap I was rambling. I look up to see Erwin grinning, I look around to see Hange intrigued by my observation and the rest of the soldiers both shocked and laughing. I really just embarrassed myself in front of the survey corps right now didn’t I? 

I frantically wave my hands around and apologise.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble.” I awkwardly laugh it off. 

Hange just looks like she found a rare gem whilst the others look amused. Erwin looks like he’s enjoying this way too much, I can feel him staring at me it’s causing unnecessary feelings to rise within me. 

All of a sudden two hands clasp my shoulders and start shaking me frantically. 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t fast enough to drag you away so Levi had to step in, forgive me please.” Moblit apologises over and over, I’m starting to get really dizzy. 

“Moblit it’s okay, there’s nothing to forgive. You did nothing wrong, I was petrified myself so I understand.” 

He lets out a sigh or relief as I say this, he’s so caring. Hange is lucky to have someone like him by her side, I would definitely trust Hange in his care. 

“[Y/N] THAT WAS SO INTENSE, DID YOU FEEL A RUSH BECAUSE I SURE DID! WE’RE NOT DONE WE STILL HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO DO!” Hange’s ecstatic voice fills my ears causing all my worries to go away, she really is amazing. 

Throughout the rest of the day Hange drags me around to retrieve numerous items to see the effect it has on the titan, we try to estimate the average time of regeneration to see if they vary with different weapons. Soldiers pop by and make small talk with me and Hange to see if any progress is made, sometimes I can see Erwin observing us from his office window but every time I do he always turns his back to me. Levi cleans, a lot. He won’t let me and Hange touch anything without washing our hands, that explains why the castle is so clean. During the day Hange did give me breaks which I mostly spent greeting the horses. I was introduced to the Levi squad whilst on my break too, I also met Mike Zacharias and his squad. 

During dinner we discuss the progress made which wasn’t much but it was still progress. Hange hands me a book that looks all beaten whilst eating, on the first page it states the name Ilse Langnar. Hange explains the story of how she received this book and briefly goes over the contents in it. Ilse endured so much, she has provided a substantial amount of valuable information for the survey corps. I can tell by the look on Hange’s face that she’s thankful for it. 

“Ever since this book was retrieved Erwin has allowed us to bring titans here to be experimented on, it’s like my lucky charm.” 

I always wondered why Erwin allowed her to carry out these experiments, she constantly nagged him about it too. Sounds like something she’d do. Speaking of Erwin, why isn’t he here? 

“Um Hange, does Erwin not want dinner?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot to give him some. Would you mind delivering this up to him? He always works in his office. It’s straight up the stairs to the left at the end of the hallway.” 

“Oh sure, I don’t mind.” 

With the plate in hand I make my way up, as I approach the door I can’t help but feel nervous. I’ve never actually been in the same room alone with him before, I’ll just drop the food off and take my leave. No need for small talk. Deciding this I knock on the door. 

“Come in.”

When I open the door I’m greeted to the most beautiful sight. The lantern set in the corner of the room doesn’t illuminate the room enough, so as Erwin just stands there in his uniform looking out the window the moonlight enhances and outlines his masculine features. His cheekbones, his jawline, his eyes which are staring right at me. 

He’s staring right at me, stop spacing out dammit! 

“Are you okay [Y/N]?”

“O-oh yes sorry, I just came to give you your dinner. Sorry if I was disturbing you.” 

Erwin chuckles as I say this, he must find this amusing. This man knows what he’s doing. 

He takes the plate out of my hands and sets it’s on his desk. 

“You apologise too much, thank you for the food.” 

“Oh don’t thank me, thank Hange she’s the one who asked if I could deliver it to you.”

“Oh really? Then please give her my thanks. Speaking of Hange you two seem to get along well, it’s been a while since I’ve seen her this excited whilst carrying out an experiment. She doesn’t have lot of people to talk to about her experiments with, well at least not someone who’s as fascinated with titans as you are.” 

As he says the last sentence he stares directly at me again, his blue eyes look deep into mine. The moonlight only makes the colour of them more vibrant, this man is gorgeous to say the least.

“I’m glad she’s comfortable around me, the other soldiers seemed to have taken a liking to me as well. I was a bit nervous about coming here but everyone is so nice, I’m happy I came.”

“I’m glad to hear that, expect to come around here more often. Hange won’t leave you alone now that she’s found someone like you, I’m also intrigued to see what other things you discover about titans.” 

“I’d love that, please feel free to stop by the training grounds anytime.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

A comfortable silence surrounds us, I feel at peace when he’s around. I feel safe. 

“Um I better be going now, it was nice talking to you.” 

“Mmm... likewise.” 

As he says this I catch a glimpse of his eyes, mischief dances around in them. Almost like he’s daring me to say more. I’m tempted but I decide to leave him hanging and leave the room. I feel his eyes on my retreating figure as I walk back down to the dining hall. 

As I reach downstairs I’m greeted by the rest of the survey corps, most of them half drunk. Petra tries so calm Hange down as Oruo tries to defend himself from her attacks. I don’t even want to guess what they’re fighting about. The rest of the evening goes by in a blur of laughs, drinks and small talk. 

Mostly everyone retires for the evening leaving only me, Hange and Moblit in the dining area. Moblit and Hange are half asleep whilst I sit on a chair and look through Ilse’s book. This is so interesting, she faced so many hardships but met and unfortunate end. As I think about all the things she must’ve encountered a shiver does down my spine. I’m so lost in thought that I don’t even realise Erwin standing right behind me. 

“Pretty interesting don’t you think?” 

Holy cheese on bread he scared the life out of me. 

When he sees my expression he stifles a laugh, oh so you find this funny Erwin? Fine, two can play this game. Hange and Moblit also wake up, seeing their exhausted expressions Erwin sends them both to get some rest claiming that he’ll escort me home. 

“Have you found anything that peaks your interest?” 

I don’t reply to his question, I must seem really childish but he scared the crap out of me and thought it was funny. It’s what he deserves, I’ll play his game for now. 

“Oh don’t tell me you’re ignoring me.” 

I still don’t reply and turn a page. I hear rustling behind me but choose to ignore it, he always keeps me on my toes. Whether that’s a good thing or not... I don’t know. I wait for his next move. 

“[Y/N] it’s not nice to keep me waiting.” His voice is so close to my hear, my heart is beating so fast I’m sure he can hear it. 

“Oh would you look at that, you can hear me. Your heart rate just increased drastically.” He whispered the last part causing me to loose all sense of awareness.

“You’re very close, you know that right?” I turn around to face him as I say this, daring him to make to next move. 

Our faces are so close, just a little more and our lips will touch. 

Surprisingly, he plays the innocent card and slowly backs away. His eyes don’t leave mine once, so this is how it’s going to be. This should be interesting. 

“I remember you from school.” 

All signs of mischief from his eyes is gone and is replaced with seriousness. 

“So you did recognise me? Why didn’t you say anything if you knew it was me?” 

“Well it’s clear to say that you look different from when we where kids but your personality is still the same, still that hesitant, curious, eager, caring girl. You always defended me whilst at school, when my father died people said I’d changed but you saw something different. Why did you defend me?”

That’s true, people where scared of him. People are scared of things or people they don’t understand, people saw anger in Erwins eyes but I saw determination. Determination to get a definite answer to the question he asked his father that day. 

“People fear what they don’t understand, they didn’t understand the look in your eyes when your father passed so they decided to fear it instead. It wasn’t anger, it was determination.”

“I never looked at it from another persons perspective before, I just felt a sense of longing after my father died. I wanted to know what was outside the walls, to see if there is any life or anyone that could offer support. It’s my dream to achieve humanity’s freedom, to know that there is a life available beyond the walls.” 

“That’s a beautiful dream, let’s try to make it a reality.” 

“Yeah, thank you [Y/N].” 

I smile at him, pleased to know that he recognises me and that he even noticed me during school. It’s been so many years. 

“So that’s why you were staring during the experiments. I assumed that you where interested but even when me and Hange weren’t doing anything I still caught you looking.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Oh no mister don’t play that innocent card one me again, it won’t end well for you. 

We both stare at each other for a while, he is a few years older than me but he sure doesn’t look like it. Everything about him reeks pure sex appeal, it’s hard not to be flustered by this man. 

“It’s getting late, do you want me to escort you home?” 

“Well it’s not like I have a choice.” This earns me a chuckle from Erwin. 

“Good point.” 

He’s leads me outside where the horses stay, after we’ve both mounted the horse we make our way back. As we get closer to the more populated parts of wall rose Erwin decides it best to go the rest of the way by foot so he ties the horse’s reins to the nearby tree as we make our way though the town. It’s still so lively, even this late people are still laughing and drinking. I don’t see this side of wall rose often, it’s refreshing. As we pass by a stall we both take notice of music coming from our left. Numerous people slow dance whilst the violin plays, it’s quite romantic. I can’t take my eyes off of it, all those people whether they’re elderly, married or young couples all dance holding one another like they’re in their own little world. 

Erwin taps my shoulder causing me to turn to face him, he looks like he’s up to something. He looks at me and holds his hand out.

“[Y/N], would you like to dance?”


	4. From your dance partner, Erwin

His strong arms wrap around me, holding me like I’m about to disappear at any moment. 

Before we started dancing he rid himself of his survey corps jacket, giving me a first hand glance at his muscles underneath the thin fabric of his shirt. This is unfair, this man is built like a God. 

He then grabbed me by the waist, took my hand in his and started moving. Our movements synced up, surprisingly I haven’t stepped on his feet yet.

Even though that would be hilarious. 

With my hand on his shoulder, the other in his hand, my face now rests on his chest. I’m glad he can’t look at me right now, I can’t stop the hot feeling from rising in my cheeks. I can’t let him think that he has the upper hand. 

His heart beat soothes my nerves, it’s pace steady and strong. I never knew that dancing with someone could be so relaxing yet nerve wracking at the same time. The longer this goes on the more I succumb to this feeling of peace and... is it right to say... belonging? 

I feel like I belong in his arms. Him holding me like this feels right.

“[Y/N] you’re awfully quite, you haven’t died on me have you?” 

“That’s a pretty stupid thing to say, commander.” 

Did I really just call him commander? 

“[Y/N], look at me.” His voice suddenly turns monotoned, crap did I upset him? 

I look up only to find that it’s the opposite, the look in his eyes isn’t one of anger but instead it’s one of excitement and something on the lines of desire. 

Well that’s an odd kink to have. 

I can’t stop looking at his eyes, the intensity of his gaze makes me forget my surroundings. The sound of music drowns out in the background, all I see is him. He pulls my body flush against his and moves his face closer. Closer. Closer. Our noses are almost touching. 

“[Y/N].”

“Yes?”

“The music stopped.”

“Yes... wait what?”

I finally come back to reality to realise that the music had in fact stopped and the couples that where once dancing had now left. As I turn around to face Erwin all I see is him grinning. How can someone built like him be such an ass? 

We separate from one another, I try to ignore the feeling of longing as my hands let go of his. Unsure of what to say I just watch as he picks up his jacket and praises the violinist for the beautiful song. We both walk the rest of the way back to my house in silence, whilst Erwin enjoys the view of the night sky I just walk thinking about what the fuck just happened. 

What was the look in his eyes? Why did he look at me like that? What does all of this mean? 

As we approach my house I try to come up with something to say but Erwin beats me to it. 

“You’re very fun to tease, your reactions are always so amusing.”

This lights a fire within me, he thinks this is funny. FUNNY?!

“Well I’ll have you know Erwin I-“ 

As it turn to look at him when I say this I end up coming face to face with him, his face doesn’t contain his default stoic look but instead one of adoration. His eyes gleam with mischief and passion. Wow, this is the first time I’m seeing him like this. I want him to keep staring at me like this. 

“Is there something on my face?” He chuckles as he asks me this. There may as well be something on his face, this look on his face is so foreign to me. It suits him, I never want to see it go away. 

“No there’s nothing on your face, it’s just that the expression you currently have on it doesn’t make you look old. It’s like I’m witnessing you 5 times younger.”

“Ouch, I’m not a fossil you know?” 

“If you want people to stop thinking that then maybe you should start smiling more Mr. Stoic.” I keep teasing him, his smile growing wider as he laughs. This is nice, I like this feeling. 

We reach the entrance to the house, both of us are silent not knowing what to say. I decide to break the silence, I don’t want to end this day on an awkward note. 

“Thank you for today and also for dropping me home.”

“It’s alright, it’s the least I could do after leaving you and Hange to experiment all day.”

“Oh I’ve also been meaning to ask, why did you allow me to come today? Hange told me earlier today that you don’t allow many people to come to the survey corps even for a day, so why did you make an exception for me?” 

This causes him to freeze, now this is knew.

“Ah well there wasn’t much reason to be honest, Hange was just so excited it just seemed wrong to deny her a chance to make a new friend.”

That’s what I though, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed though. 

“Oh... alright. Sorry I was just curious. Thank you for this evening, you surprisingly make a nice dance partner.” 

“It was a pleasure, if you’d allow it I’d like to dance with you again.” 

“I’ll think about it.” I smirk as I say this, if wants it he going to have to beg for it. 

“Goodnight commander Erwin.”

“Good night [Y/N].”

As I enter my house I close the door without looking back at him. When the door closes I lean against it and sink to the floor in a pathetic attempt to regain my composure. 

Screw him begging for it [Y/N], you may as well have been on your knees for him a few minutes ago. 

I keep criticising myself over and over again until tiredness threatens to consume me. I shower and then change into some comfortable nightwear before I succumb to sleep. 

The next day goes by as normal, although as I teach the class I notice 3 students in the back devouring bread. Did they not eat last night? 

As I approach them I notice that Sasha is with them, that explains a lot. Connie is also there and so is a boy who I know as Marco. The new addition to the chaotic trio. Jean just stays quiet as I approach his friends, knowing full well what’s about to happen. A grin makes its way onto his lips, all four of them are definitely close. 

Connie, Marco and Sasha don’t notice my presence as they eat the bread, how did they even get this? I stare at them for about a minute before they heard sniggering all around the room, they then look up and come face to face with me. They pale instantly knowing that they’ve been caught. 

“U-um Miss [Y/N] it’s not what it’s looks like w-.”

“PLEASE ACCEPT THIS PIECE OF BREAD AS A PEACE OFFERING, IT’S THE LAST ONE.” Sasha blurts this out, the pain of giving up the final piece of bread fixed onto her face. 

I take the piece of bread which I bet causes Sasha to cry internally and shove it back into her mouth. She stares up at me in shock, I just smile at her. 

“Just eat it, you’ll need your strength for combat training later.” 

“Are you an angel?” She stares at me with stars in her eyes, this girl really loves her food. 

“I won’t be if you try this again and yes this does apply to you as well Connie and Marco. Now back to lesson everyone, today we’ll be learning about...” 

After the lesson all the cadets leave the room, Eren and Armin invite me to eat dinner with them which I humbly accept. As I observe their combat training I see Connie and Sasha doing weird poses, Eren and Reiner practicing defensive stances and Annie just quietly looking at her surroundings. She doesn’t say or do much in class, even less during training but she produces results. It’s a shame she doesn’t apply herself more, her comrades could learn a lot from her. As the months pass they just keep getting stronger, in 2 years time they’ll be full fledged soldiers.

The feeling of dread fills me, although death is part of life the fact that these cadets chose to dive in head first scares the crap out of me. 

They’ll be fine, they’re strong. Stop worrying, they’re not even your kids. 

In all fairness they may as well be with how much they make me worry and with how much they stress me out. 

As nightfall approaches me and the cadets eat dinner. Conversation flows easily between us, even with the age gap they never fail to make me feel welcome. It’s a shame I’m not allowed to say that I went to the survey corps, Eren would go mental over it. Instead I listen to Armin talk about what’s outside the walls, the sea, the mountains, all of which makes everyone silent and listen intently. Although he doesn’t stand out much Armin still captures everyone’s attention, the cadets rely on him for information and support. He’ll make a powerful soldier. Jean and Marco sit in the corner of the room opposite Reiner and Bertholdt, Reiner and Bertholdt are like the big brothers everyone wants. I’ve recently learnt that Connie and Jean look at Bertholdt’s sleeping position to figure out the weather, I ended up chocking on my water. 

It’s was a good night. 

A few days later I receive a letter from Keith, apparently Hange dropped while I wasn’t around. It’s a shame, I would’ve loved to talk to her. I get to the classroom and take a seat. I wonder why she wrote to me in the first place? 

I take a deep breath and open up the letter.

Dear [Y/N],

How are you doing? I don’t know if I’ll be able to deliver this to you in person as I’ll end up delivering this really early but I’ll be unavailable for the next few days. The scouts are going out on another expedition, Erwin decided to try out another formation. This man gambles on his methods of approach as you can tell. Feel free to pop by and visit everyone in a few days though, all the other scouts want to see you again. Levi wants to say hi too. 

Yeah that was a lie I’m sorry but say hi to him anyway, he’ll appreciate it. 

When I’m free I’ll come over and invite you to try some new experiments, I’ll also keep you updated if I see any progress. Please stay safe and make sure the cadets don’t bully you. I have faith in you as a teacher and as a dear friend. 

Hope to see you soon,  
Hange. 

Dammit, this girl has the heart of a saint. It’s impossible not to lover her. 

As I put the letter back in its envelope I open up an empty drawer to put it in. Or at least what I thought was an empty drawer. There’s another letter in here, did Hange write another one? 

As I pick it up I notice that it doesn’t look like Hange’s hand writing, as I open up I check the bottom to see who it’s from. 

It’s from Erwin.

Dear [Y/N], 

As I’m sure you already know me and the scouts are going on another expedition. I’m trying out a new formation, hopefully it’ll let us venture further outside. So as you’ve probably already guessed me and the majority of the scouts won’t be available for a few days, however in about 5 days time come by and visit. The majority of us will be back at the survey corps but most of the squad leaders and me won’t be available until next week earliest. 

Before you ask why I’m telling you this, because I’m sure Hange has already told you in her letter, I just want to see you after all this is over. I want to spend time you with you again. 

I’m not a massively experienced when it comes to romance as most of my life has been consumed with expeditions. However I would like to try it, with you. 

Wait for me, I’ll be back soon.

From your dance partner,   
Erwin. 

Well that sure was unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell I’m trying to update at least once a week, however I’m currently drained. I have mucked up the aot timeline a bit but at the same time it works so I’m not thinking too much about it.   
> Hope you guys liked this chapter!!   
> Also thank you for the kudos, they’re really motivating me to keep writing!!!!


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